Today I walked my long-time companion to the gates of the undiscovered country and learned more about life in his final moments than a living soul might. My companion saw me through multiple transformations and been by my side through my highest highs and right there at my lowest lows. I realized that we lived together longer than I lived with my parents growing up. He was with me through romances, marriage, adventures, careers as well as depression, heartbreaks, divorce, rejection and near death experiences.
…And I him during multiple times when he dodged death with grace and style. We recollected every one of them and I swear I could not count 9 but we must have missed a few. He was more than human, more than a friend. He was my familiar. He was a cat.
How am I so emotional over a cat? Well in my expe rience people can make things complicated. That is not to say it was unconditional love, as he was very clear there were conditions. Incredibly protective, sensitive and strong he could also be terrible at times. I fondly remember our fights and our pissing contests (literally and figuratively). He made me bleed and was never shy about sharing his opinion of my actions or my friends ever since he was a kitten. I never thought I would miss those little turds in my shoe when I return home from being away longer than he found acceptable. I don’t miss the piss.
As we approached the gates, the love and light that surrounded us by all the lives he touched filled the room and that’s when I noticed he was sending me his last light and suddenly everything made sense. Every struggle, every line of literature and every moment was crystal clear as he passed.
Although it was just the two of us the broken parts of my soul stung with the healing support of the hundreds of people wishing their best and sending their love. About the same time he came into my life, I was introduced to a philosopher who quickly became one of my spiritual leaders, Thich Nhat Hanh. There was a message dedicated to us and it was the closest thing I can put into words to what I experienced and I hope if the day ever comes when I go, someone reads this in my memory.
“This body is not me; I am not caught in this body, I am life without boundaries, I have never been born and I have never died. Over there the wide ocean and the sky with many galaxies All manifests from the basis of consciousness. Since beginningless time I have always been free. Birth and death are only a door through which we go in and out. Birth and death are only a game of hide-and-seek. So smile to me and take my hand and wave good-bye. Tomorrow we shall meet again or even before. We shall always be meeting again at the true source, Always meeting again on the myriad paths of life.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
shanespeare 