Tag Archives: #Adventuresoftimshane

Chapter One – Capricorn One (point 1)

17 Jan


Once upon a long time ago in a land far far away, yet somehow strangely relevant to current culture and issues, there was a beautiful protagonist.  For the sake of this part of the story we shall call “our protagonist” or #OurPro for short.  She was the muse for the masses.  Among those amused masses was the infamous energy artist  Christina Adolphsson and she thought she would journey to her to see what the energy had in store for her right after the first newest moon.  

As she set out on her quest she was stopped by the Mitchell Lofts in Deep Ellum to see what appeared to be Kurt Basa doing some physical improvisation with Ashley Bell.  Impressed, #OurPro threw down a few coins in the spirit of early street theater.  “WHY ARE YOU THROWING THINGS AT US?” shreaked an over-dramatic Audra Hatchett.  “Relax” soothed the calming male voice of Halim Jabbour as he picked up a coin to show to Audra.  “It’s money!”  Gideon Swift swiftly took center stage apologizing for the over-reaction.  “She suffers from Post Dramatic Show Disorder.  A condition that affects 9 out of 10 street performers over the age of 20“.

Our protagonist (#ourpro) charmed “She doesn’t look a day over 20“.  Moved by such a convincing performance Cathy Lynn CrockettCandy Causey Frazier and Elizabeth Riley triangulated our protagonist as Tim NewKirk offered her a role.  She replied “Oh, I wouldn’t know what to say…” only to be cut off by Stephen Adly Guirgis who quickly said “Leave that to me and I will write you the best role imaginable“.  Matt Roc Jahnel chimed in “and I will make sure you look amazing“.  Jordan Galland said “I will make you a star with street cred”, Melissa Cashion said she would manage the production and Maggie P Adams assured “And I will always have your back“. 

Feeling she was properly inspiring their talents she smiled and let them know she must be on her way.  She blew them a kiss and they bowed and said this was not a performance but an audition for Tanya Smith Foster and Michael Cain and his twin brother real Michael Cain.  She felt the Jib Arm of Bobb Truax capturing the performance on camera and Britt Carver and Jeremy R Inman lending their talents to the crew. Charlcye Christa Bryson explained while they appreciate the inspiration they could not accept her coins for merely an audition. 

The beautiful protagonist politely refused the refund and suggested they split the coins with Barb Segal Rosenfeld and C.j. Davis.  “Why them?” asked Brandon DeShong and William Hudspeth.  “There are so many worthy of your valuable coins”.  Just then several shadows began to materialize into the familiar faces of Andrews W Cope, Carol Rice and Brittney Boswell.  “Because it’s our Birthday” said Rita Bostic Oden.

#OurPro asked Rita if money was what she wished for for her Birthday wish which led to a cynical debate on whether Birthday Wishes come true between Elian Haan and Wendy Rene’e on Team YES THEY DO and Shannon Marketic and Victoria Lansey on Team WISHES ARE SENTIMENTAL SORCERY.  While they had everyone distracted with their powerful points, C.d. Kirven provided a way for our protagonist (#ourpro) to slip out without disturbing the action.  There was Mike Lowe in the getaway bug.  #OurPro slipped into the VW and off they went jamming to a mix tape made by music connoisseur Jonathan Beckham.


After a quick stop by El Centro Stem they arrived safely back in Deep Ellum at an amazing party at St. Pete’s.  Of course it was amazing because it was promoted by Cynthia Long and Lisa Taylor.  Meredith Fugate toasted their arrival and went off on some inside jokes about Batman being a sex camel.  Kathi Kibbel explained some stuff about how batman camels can store their sex drive in their humps because “Science!”  Kathy Brintzenhofe was still mortified at the explanation.  Brittany Paige did an installation of Tree Art with some help from Asel Art Supply and Lc Cola was serving some drinks.  Zac Ramsey, Jakie Cabe, Daniel ForsythePeyton Hayslip and Thomas Surtees McWhorter are performing scenes from their latest project with Dan Nolen Jr and Christie Vela, while Christopher Carlos took notes.  Denise Cannizzo was dancing and Kirsten Brandt James was working her magic with Dream Venturini. Special musical guests Josh McGill, Michael James are keeping everybody moving while Justin Martin makes it all sound perfect.

Thom Pain was quick to point out this was HIS Birthday and not to be confused with the 1/2 Birthday of Tim Shane which was a trending topic amongst the guests.  Mary Ann Sherman was taking photos while promoting the Say NO to SELFIE movement.  The event was catered by Richard Chamberlain although host Steven Doyle told her all about the food and what was best on the menu while Suzanne Chavira told her what was best for her health from a super food perspective.  Dustin Hodge saved them a seat right next to the famous George Elwell.

Seated at the table was Alexandra Mauro and Dee Dogger quite enthralled in the festivities.  Our protagonist (#ourpro) took a moment to take it all in and listen to all the music as well as all of the simultaneous conversations.  She eavesdropped on Jim Kuenzer talking with Dan Glaser about the random improvisation auditions that seem to be popping up everywhere while Evelyn Jones Reed was talking about the nomadic writers wandering the world.  CC Stinson was listening intently to Emily CheekJessica Roberts, Jane Willingham and Dallas Black Actors rant about the State of the Arts in North Texas.  Lori Claborn was talking about how the clothes make the man to John Wayne Daugherty and Kyle Hancock while Paige Martin Reynolds asked the question of who makes the clothes.

Colleen Coyle was talking about the weather and Mark Shum was wondering “Whether what?”  Wesley Williams was leading an online blog about how to network while waiting in line for the restroom at parties with Nina HarpLisa MendozaDawn Glover and Harriet Boorhem.  Alix Milne was working the other line explaining to Lynn HaleCarole Anne and Georgia-Marshelle Phillips Viertel why amphibious theater is so important to Water, Earth and Air signs.  Regina Cross was also networking their networking into power networking.   Jennifer Patton and Jennifer Styers are playing a game of one-upmanship for who is the better Jennifer.

There was a clanking of drinking glasses that was not at all like the breaking of reading glasses or the gnashing of teeth, but a sound that brought the music, performances and  Gutterth Live to a smooth stop.  The super smooth host Wilbur Penn was on the microphone with Heather Shaw Young to give a powerful and moving introduction to legendary theater teacher Kim Stinson.  As Mr. Stinson took the microphone a miracle happened.  It might very well be the greatest standing ovation of applause ever.  You know how you have to clap if you want a fairy like Tinkerbell to live?  Well this applause gave birth to an entire fleet of faeries. (or fairies if you prefer).


As you might imagine, some people freaked out and some where in awe.  This was all part of #OurPro’s plan.  Just as Santa has to deliver all those gifts on Christmas day, this muse could use some help in granting all those Birthday Wishes.  There was at least one fairy for every guest.  Some such as Tambry Haagen, Katy Lane and Suzanne Harper had a plethora.
Beth Jenkins explained what a plethora is for those that did not Google it.

Some guests such as Rosa Vasquez wished for everyone to experience joy while others such as Christopher Zielke wished for more wishes.  Andi Schlict and Nancy Kay Grossman kept their wishes to themselves as not to jinx them.  Tina Ng wished to keep her fairy as a companion.  Chad R Jung thought they were gremlins and kept shining bright light on them and Carolyn Lindeman was attempting to shoot them with a water pistol.  Some wished to have the lovely life of Lynne Lowder or see the wonderful world of Winona Wenying Yu.  Wanda Muston Yauch and Nancy Lamb asked to save their wishes for later.

Three of the fairies, Kimberly Powell, Jody Rudman and Molly Davis Nedley conspired in the corner to form the Cool Capricorn Club.  However by the power of three they were able to open a portal to the Sassy Sagittarius Supper from the previous year and bring 3 fairies from the past to the party.  Katherine Bower, Nevada Nicole and Janna Zepp crossed over and joined Kim, Jody and Molly to form the Wish Squad.  This will be important later for the prophecy which Karen Bower Robinson warned everyone of.  There will be a test.

Chris Widomski and David Willingham started the music again and the party began to pick back up and everyone was granted their wishes including Marisa Diotalevi made her debut.

It is important for you to understand where everybody is, who they are and what they want.  This will all come into play at some point.  As #OurPro was preparing to continue her journey, she did the rounds at the party to let people know she was leaving and make sure nobody was left out.  Molly Moroney said she had no idea that these parties were so much fun but Heath Billups assured her they are and she should always come when invited.

It did get a bit confusing when some guests such as Caroline Whitton Yellott and  Tanasha Friar cloned themselves into Carolines’s Country Living and Tanasha Nicole.  However this way they were able to thank everyone for coming.  Angela Allen helped #OurPro to the spotlight and Nancy Smith Munger got her a microphone.

Happy Birthday!” wished #ourpro most sincerely as she mysteriously made her exit.  “How does she doe that?” asked Martha Russell Tiller.  “Where is she?” asked David DeRocha.  “Who is she?” questioned Chad Halbrook.

I have a feeling this is just the beginning said Genesis Alana.


Seeking A Crew To Boldly Go Where No One Has Gone Before Into the New Frontier

4 Oct

Boldly Going To A New Frontier
Remember when we thought “Space” was the “Final” Frontier? 

It was a simpler time when televisions where “wood-colored” and phone’s literally had dials you had to stick your finger into and spin around.  When we wanted information or to learn about something we went to libraries.  The average attention span of a person could handle epic stories and philosophical challenges.  How amazing life is today when you can speak your desires into reality with the help of the latest technology.   Everyone can have a stage, a microphone and a spotlight.  Are you brave enough to join me in pioneering the new frontier(s)?  Are you ready for what is next?

If you are, then I am looking for a crew to join me and a few extremely talented visionaries as we “Boldly Go” to these new frontiers of digital dimensions, augmented realities and beyond.  Do you want to be a part of this current venture?  Do you have what it takes?

  • Have you always felt you had a calling to be part of something better or greater?
  • Are you looking for a culture that values your experience and talents and nurtures your continual growth?
  • Do you want to be acknowledged and rewarded for your contributions and successes faster?
  • Do you thrive on challenge and take pride in personal accountability?
  • Do others consider you a person of integrity and strong moral character?

If you answered “YES” then lets talk as soon as possible.

This is not an open ended opportunity.  The ship is scheduled depart and I need the crew immediately.  I am looking for a few brave people that will take the chance before success assured.  The fewer of us the greater the share of honor, fortune and glory in the event of success.  You can be anywhere with internet access and the spirit to succeed and push the envelope.  It won’t be easy and it won’t be routine but I will tell you what it will be; The opportunity of a lifetime!

Private Message me or E-mail me at tim@boldstaffing.com with your contact info, resume or declaration of interest!idontliketoloseTim is Bold

Missions Accomplished! 2014 Edition

22 Jan

As I begin to articulate and refine my goals and resolutions, I recall learning that I am often so driven that I do not always celebrate my “wins” and “accomplishments” before moving on to the next challenge.  Let’s address the wins before we go any further.


Totally Got Physical!  Spartan Race Trifecta Tribe! #SpartanRace,

I joined the Spartan #TrifectaTribe but didn’t stop there.  My life had changed as a result of the discipline and much like the Spartan Race I realized it wasn’t so much about the finish line as it was about getting there.  It really did change my life.  Although I may not be as skinny or have as much energy as I used to in Tim 1.0 or 2.0 my doctor has given me supportive evidence that I have achieved excellent health through performance based goals, clean living and a healthy diet.


Like a Boss!

When I set my professional goals I sincerely thought they were stretch goals.  Perhaps I underestimated myself as I most certainly increased my productivity and certainly made a name for myself among powerful and influential people.  I more than doubled my stretch goals and pretty much landed my dream job with carte blanche to build my dream team in 2015.

Save The World!

Continuing to do my part my recycling efforts did not stop by me consistently recycling more than trash I produced but by making a few choices I now even rarely have things to recycle.  I might produce 1 bag of recycling all week, and it seems I produce 1 bag of biodegradable trash a month (not including pet waste).


There certainly was some spiritual growth, healing and enlightenment.  That said it is quite difficult to set measurable goals in this area.  I can share that being present in the moment brings me my hearts desire, which sometimes is an honorable challenge and that I have found a wonderful peace in my soul, in nature and this universe.  May the journey continue.


The restoration of the Triumph TR-6 has been a labor of love and continuing to work on the Rover.  There are many ways I was both James Bond and Batman throughout 2014 and I hope there are many more.


To recap!  Missions Accomplished and Great Expectations have been Exceeded.

An EPIC Mardi Gras Trip from 20+ years ago

5 Mar

Long long ago, before blogs and social media, I used to write tales of my travels in my journal.  This epic tale was written in pencil in my journal….


An EPIC Mardi Gras Trip from 20+ years ago

It’s almost time to leave
and I am ready to go.
Jamie and I are going to eat
As Tonya and Crystal wait for us to show

Tonya is now part of the crew
And we’re all ready to fly
Now all we have to do
Is pick up and say BYE….
to DALLAS!!!

Now the roads are dark
and we’re on our way
We’re talking about the Faire
and everything is okay

I sing some songs by Harry
As we drive through Cork and Bottle
The dark roads are scarey
So lets lay back and increase throttle

Alexandria is next on the map
Without a gas station for miles
I give the fuel gauge a tap
And away go our smiles
BUT WAIT, hope is in sight
There is a Texaco sign
F*CK, It’s CLOSED for the NIGHT!
So on a King Cake we dine.

Cars stop, then go on their way
I develop a PLAN
And then call Triple A
Now we’re on the road again.  

Hours later my tired eyes
Look down the infinite bridge
To see a happy sunrise

Driving in my sleep
In desperate need for a Bed
We stop at a rest area

After a jump we continue 
Finally we’re in Baton Rouge
At last we’re in the hotel
And I begin to snooze.

Once again the car won’t start
So we go downtown to Western Auto
Of all the town this is the worst part
So we fix the car and go
back to the hotel, then on to Mardi Gras
With the T-tops off we sit still
In the biggest traffic jam I ever saw.

We find a place to park the car
And roam into the French Quarter
Every place seems to have a bar
And all the actions seems a blur

Pushing, Shoving, Making our way through
Holding hands, getting beads, watching parades,
Drinking, eating, drinking, so much to do
Taking pictures, finding restrooms as the day fades
Jenny and Greg are selling hats
And Jamie finally finds her drum
I eat oysters, which are aphrodisiacs

Drink some hurricanes and have some fun
We miss Jenny and stroll down Bourbon Street
Trying to hold hands of three women 
Who all these horny guys would like to… meet

I’ve perfected a “Go to hell” look to each of them
Oh Look, some boobs and a chain of bras
And there’s some legs swinging out a window
The wildest crowd has to be Mardi Gras’

Feeling kinda funny, it’s time to go. 
Covered with beads we find the car
Lock the doors and we’re on our way
Get some gas cause the drive is far
Can I have directions to the highway
I’m so tired and exhausted I feel high
I hear a sound as I increase speed
And OFF pops the T-Top into the sky
I stop the car to repair the deed
And rescue the T-Top from certain death  

Its not cracked, just scratched all to hell.
So I run back to the car to catch my breath
Maybe I don’t feel so well.

Jamie is sick, but wants to drive
So I pull over to give her control
This is probably best to make it home alive
So its off to dream land I go

I soon awaken by Jamie getting a DWI test
We have been pulled over by an A-hole
He tells Jamie she is under arrest
She tells him whats up and on we go.

We make it back to the hotel
The trip here makes me want to scream
But Jamie is lying beside me
She touches me and I begin to dream. 

OH NO!  What time is it?
It’s late and we’ve got to go
The weather is for shit
And the traffic is so very slow.

We are now in New Orleans after noon
They want to park my car in mid-air.
We have to get to the Hard Rock soon
If we can find our way there

Walking around, waiting to be seated
Shopping, looking, there’s 3 girls kissing
The Nachos are bad, and more are needed.
The Hard Rock waiter is dissing

Jamie and Tonya disappeare to a restroom
I worry as I sip my hurricane
Finally they return from certain doom
Now to continue the ADVENTURES OF TIM SHANE!

Down to Barracks Street to get a drum for Jamie,
Then back to Jennys Apartment.
Can’t wait for Bacchus! Can you blame me?
We get there early to get a good seat of cement.

It seems like we’re waiting forever
Tonya climbs a tree and Jamie hugs me
The size of this Fosters Beer is Clever 
Jamie is up on my shoulders to see

I share the rest of my beer
As the parade finally starts
The Bacchus Float is here
Harry Connick Jr, Ooh that SMARTS
Oh My GOD I begin to yell HARRY!
He throws his coins and beads
He turns around to see me
And points to me to answer my pleads
Then, in his own jazzy way
The throws me a handful of coins
Jamie and I follow him for a way
Seeing girls hunger from their loins
Then by a miracle of chance
He points me out once again
And we do a little “Tim Dance”
Snapping pictures like crazy
My camera stops working
Trying not to let this phase me
I beat the living sh*t out of this damn piece of non-working good for nothing cheap crap….

Jamie and I rejoin the group
And we make a human totem pole
It’s amazing how low people stoop
to get beads people earned or stole

Jumping, leaping, Grabbing
PUSHING, pulling, Tugging
Laughing, pouting, anything for BEADS!

Several hours later, its finally over
But it seemed to go by so fast
Suddenly I’m exhausted and sober
I’m starving, is it time for breakfast?

We go to a local bar called Deja VU
I am rich with pounds of beads 
Everyone is drinking and smoking too
Clear us a table for WE HAVE NEEDS.

Jamie and Tonya go to the restroom alot
The things I am learning on this trip…
I sit and count all the coins I got
Some Jagermeister guy gives me a sip
Before I know it there’s a test tube in my throat
The shot shoots down my throat, tastes like Nyquil
By now I’m so high on life I feel like I can float
But the guy standing behind me looks like he’ll be ill
Watching him closely for he is going to spew
We all decide it’s time to leave
Some guy seems to like me so I do what guys do
And learn women aren’t the only one objectified for beads

We hit the streets with Jenny leading the way
I am really concerned for Jamies well being
For she hasnt’ felt good most of the day
What a wonderful time partying and sight-seeing.

Now we are back at Jenny’s at last.
Jamie lies down at Jen’s place
I join the others on the balcony with my mask
I’m covered with beads with feathers on my face

Tonya yells to some guy down below
“Throw me your tits and I’ll show you my beads”
Jamie tells us its time to go
Bless her, for she had to sneeze.  

We pack up her drum and my jester head
And set out on our weary quest 
Everyone feels like their dead
As we keep stopping to rest.

Walking down dark alleys we don’t want to
Looking for “Dixie Parking” on Gravier
Making our way out of this human zoo
Trying our best to get there.

AT LAST the Firebird is in sight
We load up and get ready to leave
It starts up and everything seems alright
But my car has been known to deceive.  

In the car we turn and burn
As we say GOODBYE to New Orleans
I know in my heart I will soon return
Whether I drive this car or by other means.

Before I know it we are driving in hell
As the party land fades in the distance
The smoke blinds us in this flaming cell
The heat wearing down our resistance.

It is all over and now the road is clear
Once again we feel the cool night
We’re on our way out of here
Oh NO ! We are losing our sight!
It’s almost too dark to steer.
Just when I thought it’d be alright
The damn alternator goes out
We stop for gas at this little store
I get out to pay, but I want to shout
Please don’t let anything go wrong anymore.

This new battery has alot of kick.
It starts the car with still miles to go.
I keep jumper cables and my stick
Very handy for what comes next I don’t know.

As we get closer, the lights go dim
Jamie, Tonya and Crystal have to be thinking
This Firebird just doesn’t like Tim
For if this was a boat we’d surely be sinking.
All the power of the car is gone
Flying in the dark, blind as a bat
The warning light is still the only thing on
We coast to the hotel and that is the end of THAT.  




It is now morning on our last day
I call home for some helpful advice
My last hope is to call Triple A
Buying a new alternator would be nice. 

We pack the car and check out
The battery is fully charged
We eat and then without a doubt
Hit the road while it’s still light.
Everything is fine until sunset
We get gas, then drive into the night.
It seems impossible but dont’ fret
I’ve done this before, and this is bad.

I turn on my lights as the power drains
People flash me as if I’m ad
The the stress drives me insane
The battery is dead and the car has no oil
We place ourselves in traffic to see the road
The car starts smoking as water starts to boil
We pass cops on our way to my abode
But none of them help me now
Terrell, Mesquite and finally Garland
We’ve made it, not really sure how.  

My dad comes out to give me a hand
The Firebird has had enough
And I get Jamie, Tonya and Crystal home 
The trip was tough
But now I drive safely home.

It was some of the best times
and one of the toughest struggles
and I apologize for these cheesy rhymes.